Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Reflecting on Self

It's almost been a week since my last post and I feel slightly guilty about not posting more frequently. I think part of it is I get caught up in the notion that I must have a photo to go with whatever I'm writing about. Which is very hard to do I must say. Maybe I need to stop comparing myself to other's blogs and concentrate on what this space is for me. A space to write, a space to dream, a space to examine, a space to document my own personal growth. Personal growth, not a space to be a carbon copy someone else's art.

I've been working a lot recently with the philosophy of Science of Mind and Spirit. Reading Ernest Holmes daily, journaling, meditating. The practice of Science of Mind and Spirit if you're not familiar with it, is founded on the idea of Oneness. That there is an Infinite Source, (God, Spirit, Buddha, it doesn't really matter what name you give it) that responds to our thinking through Law. In as much as we comprehend and understand Spirit, Love, and Law can we obtain our highest good. Check out these links for further information.

A copy of Rev. Lloyd Barrett's, Mile Hi Church minister, Ernestly Speaking sermon miraculously arrived in my mailbox, a generous gift from my mom. (I loved attending Mile Hi Church, it's one of a few things I miss about Colorado.) Rev. Lloyd's message struck a few chords with me. He posed two questions during the message, first:

Am I setting the stage in consciousness for what I desire to experience?

Huh? I am doing that? I would like to say that 75-85% of the time yes I am setting the stage in consciousness for what I desire to experience. Part of me would like to say its not nearly that much. The doubter that still remains. That 15-25% of me that still believes in a bloated ego consuming much of my self-assurance. I believe though for the for the most part that I am beginning to set the stage in consciousness to experience what I desire in life. That in itself is part of the spiritual adventure that I am on, to fully understand and know what it is I desire from life. I desire to live in faith not fear. I desire to live in confidence, self-assurance not in doubt and worry. I desire to live in joy and love not sorrow, depression, or anger. I desire to live in success, achievement not failure or complacency.

The second question Rev. Lloyd posed:

Annette, can you stand the consequences of your thinking?

This question sort of hit me over the head, punched my in the stomach and knocked the wind out. Can I stand the consequences of my thinking? Good, positive, affirmative thought and/or bad, negative, misguided thinking. Sadly, I feel the consequences of negative, misguided thinking are predictable, safe, easier to cope with and handle. The consequences of positive, affirmative thinking seem overwhelming and too good to be true/possible. But they need not seem overwhelming for I know that Spirit does not give me anything I am not prepared to handle. Infinite Wisdom is always beside me, helping me to carry the load I have to bear. Can I stand the consequence of my thinking? I hope so! This all reminds me of Marianne Williamson's poem.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that
we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be
brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

I am cultivating my abilities to walk with full faith, and conviction in my words just as this poem does. Just as Ernest Holmes did when he said, "I spoke my word and the Creative Law is acting upon it." Just as it says in John 1:14 "These words became flesh and dwelt amoung us." To fully understand that with each creative thought, be it conscious or unconscious, it sets into action that which I see manifested in my life. What do I want made manifest in my life? That may have to be saved for another blog entry!

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